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what does it mean to be sexy
Relationships | Sex + Sexuality
What does it mean to be sexy?

Have you ever defined, what does it mean to be sexy? We use the term all the time, but have you ever broken down the traits in both men and women. Is the term universal, are their traits that all sexy people have. Is there a sexy gene you are either sexy or you are not, or is sexy in the eye of the beholder?

Society tells us what is sexy: 

Our ideas of sexuality come from many sources: the media, society, what we hear from others, and feedback we get too. When it comes to sex symbols, you might imagine Beyonce, Adrian Purnell, Jennifer Lopez, Shemar Moore, and Ryan Gosling.

The sexual attraction is often different than other types of attraction. Men who had posters of Farrah Fawcett hanging on their walls were not thinking of Farrah as a best friend. Likewise, images of Channing Tatum don’t bring up images of men you necessarily want to have a hot chocolate with.

According to Hauterfly sexy can be broken down into ten traits.

  1. Voice
  2. Confidence and Attitude
  3. Optimism
  4. The effort she puts in herself
  5. Sense of humor
  6. Ability to let her hair down and dance
  7. A good perfume
  8. Lack of filters
  9. Comfortable with her quirks
  10. Spontaneity

Personal Taste:

Who one person considers “sexy” may be different than another person. Even if two people agree someone is sexy it might be for different reasons. The consistent idea is that someone who is sexy has the ability to arouse desire. Sexy also comes with an attitude of confidence and being comfortable with one’s body. While beautiful people may be natural beauties, it’s usually something extra. Have you ever notice that sexy people do not apologize for the attention they get? We can’t imagine Marilyn Monroe apologizing, “Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to turn you on.” On the contrary, being sexy means unabashedly owning your sexuality and the effect you have on others.

Enhancing your sexuality: 

Certainly, you can enhance your sex appeal by playing up your best features. Say you have great legs. Why not show them off with a short skirt and high heels? If you’ve worked hard to get sculpted yoga arms, show off your arms by wearing a great tank top? If you work out to get a great body, why not show off your results by wearing a snug shirt instead of a baggy sweatshirt. Men and women look better in well-fitted clothes that accent and highlight their best features. In dating, spend time thinking about the message you are giving the opposite sex by how you look and what you wear to enhance either your femininity or your masculinity.

Compliments: Nothing makes you feel sexier than getting this specific feedback from someone. Assuming of course this is what you want. It all comes back to chemistry. If you want to give someone the ultimate compliment, call them sexy. A sexy woman arouses a man with her beauty and presence. Similarly, if you want to let a man know you find him attractive, call him “handsome” but if you want to let him know you desire him, call him “sexy.” Handsome will get you a smile, but sexy will get you a wink and a smirk.

Men tend to become aroused by women visually. Women can be equally aroused with visual stimulation but often need verbal reinforcements as well. For the men out there, think about calling your woman a “sex goddess.” I know when my husband does it really makes me feel more confident and, yes, desired. Telling your man, “You are such a man! I love watching you get ready without your shirt on,” brings out his masculine traits that you admire.

Summary: If you want to attract partners, don’t worry that you don’t have what it takes. Instead, focus on trying to enhance your confidence and those traits that you already have. Don’t be so worried that you will turn someone on, that you hold yourself back. Ultimately you get to decide what to do with the attention you get. I would love to hear what you think is sexy?

Back to Love Doc

 

 

10 comments to " What does it mean to be sexy? "

  • Jackie

    Being sexy to me means being in control, confident and empowered

  • Yes! Agree, thanks for reading and commenting
    Dr. Diane

  • I agree what makes for a sexy women. I’ve never been called sexy myself but think it would be nice. I think sexy is a little different for men.
    Thanks for making me up my game,
    Scott

  • Scott,
    Thanks, yes men need to think about being sexy too. Try wearing a new cologne or getting a flattering new shirt. Make it a goal to give women more compliments and work on your sexual confidence. Sexy men know what they want and put effort into their behaviors and look.
    Dr. Diane

  • Major thanks for the article. Keep writing.

  • Great, thanks for sharing this article.Really looking forward to read more.

  • Lois

    I feel that being sexy is an attribute with which I was born. I do nothing to try to be sexy…..how would I know what it was had I not been been born with it? I feel it and others sense it. It is there with or without clothes on…. It radiates.

  • Cynthiea

    I am so very glad I ran across this article because my daughter wants called me sexy. She quoted to someone my mother is not cute she is sexy and at first I felt a little offended but as I thought about it I would take sexy over cute any day. There is a big difference and being sexy and it feels wonderful because there is a lot of confidence that comes with the word so that being said reading this article put a stamp on the topic and I thank you

  • Solomon Kwaghko

    Gave the compliment a while ago and afterwards I had to think over it whether sexy was the ultimate compliment or something else would have been preferable. Thanks for the article.

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