Two Tips You Need To Stop Sabotaging Your Relationships

Many of you acknowledged your unconscious tendencies to sabotage your relationships. The solution is to start confronting your fears today. But to do so, you have to break down your fears. You need #anxietyrelief

Two mistakes that people make when they are anxious are as follows: 

  1. You overestimate the likelihood of the wrong thing happening. For example there is a 10% chance you will be rejected, but you think it’s 100%. 

The tip is to focus on things going well, not on things going horribly. But be realistic. In conversations, be direct, don’t assume the worst. For example, never lead with, ‘you probably don’t want to hear this or ‘we need to talk because both of those examples are coming from a place of low self-esteem. 

Success in your relationships requires a positive mindset, ‘I’m lovable. Who wouldn’t want to be with me?’ I’m working on being a better partner. I may not be perfect, but I have a lot to offer. 

  1. You don’t give yourself credit for managing the wrong thing even if it does happen; you think, if he breaks up with me, I will be devastated. Instead, even if the bad thing happens, I will survive; sure, it will be challenging at first, but I will get over it. 

You have gotten over hard things, and when you do, it builds resilience. I know I found my fiance cheating on me. Of course, I was devastated, but after getting over it, I saw it as a strength of mine; if I could get over that, I could get over many other things.  

No one wants to anticipate bad things happening but focus on resilience. 

The literature in psychology is about focusing on strength and resilience. Tell yourself you can do hard things. 

This belief will carry you far in relationships.



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