JoJo Fletcher the Bachelorette has her share of bad boys this season. The question is, how well does she handle bad boys, did she crush it or did it crush her? What can we learn from this season of the Bachelorette? If you’ve been watching JoJo’s body language with your volume off you can probably guess which bad boy she’s likely to choose Jordan Jordan Rodgers in the end. She gave Jordan her first impression rose and it’s obvious they have a strong connection.
Definition of a Bad Boy:
Bad boys can be described in many different ways. Some of them are total jocks like Chad, who eat meat out of the carton and bully guys around. Others are Jordan, then there’s Grant and Robbie. At this point we think it’s fair to say, Jordan’s ex, claimed that he cheated on her. And then Robbie and Grant both broke up with their girlfriend before going to the show.
What’s interesting this season is how many bad boys the producers picked for JoJo, and the number of them she kept around. Last season I spoke about attachment theory, highlighting that Ben Higgins appeared to be an anxious type also known as a puppy. Jojo is similar to Ben it that it appears that she has some of her own insecurities when it comes to men.
While this blog doesn’t cover why women are attracted to bad boys like kryptonite, you can read the reasons why in my previous post are you choosing the wrong men, again? In this post, I want to dissect how JoJo reacts to men who are bad boys.
While none of us is perfect and certainly the show is highly edited, we can see some signs of Jo Jo’s insecurities as observed in the following interactions:
1. On her two-on-one date with Alex and Chad, she throws Alex under the bus and tells Chad what Alex told her, instead of taking responsibility for her choice with him.
2. When Chad is leaving, she still wants to be seen as a good person, saying, “I gave you a chance Chad!”
3. Before she confronts Jordan about rumors of his cheating, she talks about “How scared she is in bringing up the topic.”
4. Immediately after she confronts Jordan she apologizes, “I think that you’re mad at me. Don’t be mad at me!”
While there are plenty of other examples, to me JoJo cares very much what the guys think of her and perhaps is ‘too nice’
JoJo admits that meeting Ben and being treated with respect and kindness was a great experience for her, but when she gets around bad boys it feels like she acts like a much younger version of herself, apologizing and being more meek.
The two lessons that JoJo can benefit from in order to find secure love are:
- Start acting with more confidence, knowing that finding love means having to say goodbye to good guys.
- Find a way to make yourself equal to men and don’t act as if you are scared or care more about their feelings than you won. Remember when you care more about your partner’s feelings than your own, you are reinforcing this message; you set it up that way.
But without saying more about the fate of JoJo and her bad boy, what lessons can we learn? Ask yourself the following:
- Have I ever let a man make me feel insecure?
- Am I afraid to ask for what I want and need?
- Do I hold myself with respect and require that men treat me the same way?
- Do I believe that confronting a man about his past is an insurance policy against him doing the same to me?
Jojo is clearly a beautiful woman, most men and women call her HOT, her season was a fascinating one filled with drama and lots of interesting characters. Of them all, I think the most genuine of connections is with Jordan, I’m happy that they got engaged. My hope is that JoJo continues to grow and she sees herself in the same positive light that so many of the men and her fans see her as well.
Summary: No matter how beautiful people are on the outside, they can be insecure. Confidence in yourself is one of the best things you can wear. Forget the unicorn mask; instead of pretending to be a mythical creature be a secure woman!
What have you learned from JoJo?