We make up all sorts of reasons to avoid putting ourselves forward in relationships and dating. What remains true is the hopeful outcome of finding true love and companionship. Holding us back from reaching out and experiencing the intimacy we crave is a negative self-image.
Is Your Body Image Holding You Back?
Body insecurity is not a new phenomenon, and with the fashion world still projecting razor-thin models as the ideal, the sensation of body shaming persists, regardless of gender. Due to this sense of body prejudice, many of us remain at home, denying ourselves the shared physical and emotional intimacy we crave because of a skewed body image.
I’ll Date When I’m Lighter
The secret is not to obsess about weight. Dates may not care or notice your weight, as they decided to meet you regardless. Most dates are interested in what is between your ears, i.e., your personality and what you project with your eyes.
While you want to put your best self forward, that self is inside, so try not to diminish yourself. Prepare by self-coaching, talking into a mirror about who you are and your interests. Visualize what you want to learn about your date, not about apologizing for your insecurities.
I’m Putting Off Sex Because I Haven’t lost the Baby Weight
Having a baby is one of the most memorable, beautiful experiences in our lives. There is unspoken pressure for women to immediately lose all pregnancy weight and return to normal, which feeds a desire to avoid post-delivery intimacy from negative body image due to lingering post-partum weight. Recent studies also show that women may jeopardize their unborn child by attempting to lose weight during pregnancy.
After childbirth, sleep deprivation and fluctuating hormones can lead to depression and a skewed body image. Accept that your body has accomplished a feat of nature, with the capacity to house a new life.
Try talking over your feelings with your partner. You may be surprised to learn that they are grateful for what your body has achieved and view your current size as part of a beautiful transition.
I Avoid Intimacy Because I Am Self Conscious About My Body
Fear of intimacy due to something you dislike about your appearance needs to be shared with your partner to get past insecurity and return to a loving relationship. Trust is a component of intimacy, and if you trust your partner, share your fears with them and achieve the closeness you desire.
I Say No to Going on An Experience with My Partner Because of Body Insecurity
Life is too short for denying ourselves experiencing special moments with our partners. When you equate body insecurity with who you are as a person, you are doing yourself a disservice. Learning to love and accept who you are in this moment will lead you to a whole new range of experiences.
Sexy Is a State of Mind
Sexiness goes way beyond what we wear. True sexiness is more of a state of mind, how you perceive yourself. You won’t find sexy by emulating pictures in a fashion magazine. You’ll discover sexy when you discover what you love about yourself.
All of us have things we dislike about our bodies, and some of us go a step farther by using poor body image to minimalize who we are. It’s time to learn how to love ourselves for who we are inside. Once we do, this knowledge will shine through and engage others. Poor self-image only hurts us, and letting go of these misconceptions will guide us to more meaningful relationships with others and ourselves.