Overcoming Anxious Attachment Reactions

I’m not suggesting that this is easy, but given all the adverse reactions we’ve seen in couples on TV, I want to show you an example of an alternative response. ⁠

If you have an anxious attachment style, you often feel hurt. But sharing how to hurt you is NOT working! Your partner hasn’t changed their behavior, so why keep doing it? ⁠⁠

The question is how to get them to stop doing the behavior because that’s the right thing to do. ⁠

The goal is more complex than I can cover in 60 seconds, but I want you to think about getting your partner to connect with what THEY are doing, and if They feel attacked, they won’t. Instead, they see it as your issue, not theirs. ⁠

When you are getting to know someone, they think that if small things hurt you, then, Wow, what will you do when big things happen? ⁠

Of course, it would stink to be stood up, the question is this a one-time behavior or a pattern? The goal is to get behavioral change, because No it’s not OK that he did that. ⁠

⁠When Ian (my man character) connects with his tendency to ‘over book’ and takes responsibility for how he made you feel, that’s a win 🙌 He owns up for what he did and hopefully will make future changes. ⁠

Drop me a real-life scenario.